2947 days sober


“It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves.” Carl Jung

Have you ever heard of the 99 vs 1 philosophy? It’s not listed on the internet anywhere, I checked……however one of my mentors in AA told me about it years ago when I called to verbally vomit on how all was wrong with the world. It’s when I focus on that one situation, problem, resentment, obstacle, fear, etc. that is going on in my life despite the 99 things that are right. I will give my permission let that “one” thing ruin my attitude, mood, my whole stinking day instead of looking at how things really are.

My life is simply amazing!!! I’m not bragging, it’s just that I have an awesome family, friends, husband, child, job, sponsor, sponsees, etc. I have moments of complete peace and serenity. I am sober by God’s amazing grace! For the most part I am as grateful as I know how to be! But then, dun dun dun ……One thing doesn’t go to my liking, live up to my expectations, changes the direction that I told God to make the wind blow and I am stuck on that ONE thing and can see nothing else!

So what did I choose to focus on yesterday? The feeling that I have friends that have walked out of my life. Notice I said feeling not FACT! I HATE it when people leave and these people in particular haven’t really gone anywhere! People have come in and out of my life and AA throughout my whole sobriety, you’d think I would get used to it! Just accept it! Let go and let God and all that CRAP! But I am not letting it go, I have let set sadness, pain, disappointment, and resentment in, at times. Not all the time…..it just creeps in and out. See these people in particular were ones that I considered FAMILY! My husband’s best of friends! I just don’t get why they leave? Or why them deciding that AA is not for them anymore means that WE aren’t for them anymore. It’s not like I am going to dunk them in the AA baptistry and douse them in AA holy water! If you don’t want to come to AA anymore then don’t come, but why does that mean that our relationship has to change?

If that is the only thing that is bothering me, then I think I will tell myself what I tell my sponsees at times…..”Suck it up, buttercup!” Blogging this just now opened my eyes that I am just wrapping myself up in my little blanket of selfpity! I already know I don’t like change, this is not news to me! So I am going to trust in the FACT that God knows what is going on with me and He will give me what I need.

“Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well” BB page 63

So in the last analysis….I had a great holiday season. I spent many memorable moments around the people that I love the most. Christmas was fabulous! My son is one month shy of being 6 years old, so it gave me great joy to watch the wonder in his eyes, as well as the greed! HAHA!!! My husband and I both celebrated our sobriety birthdays in December. He has 9 years and I have 8. I have everything to be grateful for and should stay in that place of infinite gratitude however, I AM alcoholic!

 

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. carrythemessage
    Jan 05, 2014 @ 13:10:19

    Congrats on your 8 years (and 9 to hubby!)! That’s amazing! I am close to my first 1000 days – pretty cool 🙂 Anyway, I know what you speak of with the 99-1 thing. I call it “collecting the one’s” – if I were in a room with 200 people and they all said that they liked me, but one said he didn’t care for me, who do you think I would take home with me, in my head? lol. My whole life was about me collecting those one’s…the one person who did this, the one who said that, etc. So I get what you mean!

    And glad the writing it out brought you clarity – that is partly the reason I blog too. To get it out there and get some light shone on it to see it for what it is. Or at least put it out there and have my HP work through others to help me.

    I am sorry that things changed (or did they?) with those people leaving AA and then leaving you, through association. I haven’t experienced that (yet) but I know there is a good chance it will. And like you said so well – perception is the key. Moving away from self pity and into acceptance is the key.

    Thank you for this, and glad to see you post 🙂

    Blessings
    Paul

    Reply

    • trudgingdestiny
      Jan 05, 2014 @ 13:45:20

      Thanks! I appreciate your words! It may swing back the other direction in a moment or month but I will just keep doing what I do. Truly looking forward to 2014 and what it has in store.

      Reply

  2. Debbie
    Jan 05, 2014 @ 14:38:34

    wow, 8 (and 9) years. Holy crap 🙂 You are an inspiration, truly! Thanks for reading my blog.

    Reply

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