20 Seconds of Insane Courage


Ever since I got sober I’ve heard it said that fear and faith can’t reside in the same body, well I’m here to tell you that is NOT my truth! I have been taught to be a woman of consideration in Alcoholics Anonymous and not to take any thing I read, hear, or see as truth until I consider it based on my own experience. And what I have concluded about fear and faith is that they are a balancing scale. The more faith I have the less fear……the more fear I have the less faith. Just because I have fear does not mean I have no faith at all. I have done A LOT of things afraid sober and funny thing is that God has showed up for me every single time!

Fear is an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence is shot through with it.- Big Book 67
I had no idea how true that statement was when I first read it! Fear has drove me all my life! I’m not good enough, I’m not doing it right, they’re gonna find out I’m a phony, what if I’m wrong, I’m not gonna get what I want, what if I choose the wrong way, thing, boy, job, shirt….. You get the point!

The answer to fear is trust and reliance upon God instead of reliance upon self! Self is insufficient to sustain me in times of trials, indecision, or difficulty. God is either everything or he is nothing. What is my choice to be? I can either trust infinite God or me? Hmmmmm What do you think I should choose?

Even when seeking God’s will for my life and feeling as if I am being led in a new direction by God, it is still possible to be gripped by fear! That’s what my week has been like! I’ve been getting NEON signs to follow God in a certain direction and still full of fear every step I have taken. But I have followed the signs afraid and guess what? God has showed up once again! So doing it afraid still works and God still suits up and shows up every time no matter how I feel! God is everything!

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.” – We Bought a Zoo

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